Omens and Wonders!

This story, however unlikely, is true. I tell it not to dampen anybodies day but because by telling it I may save some poor soul from some ill fortune.

Just the other day, not but a fortnight ago, I was at the office tending to my regular duties. All was well; there was not a lot of emails, the website was updated, and their were no rushes on any letters that presently distracted me greatly from life thoughts. Thus, whilst I busied myself with what was otherwise just normal lazy office work my mind was free to take in the environment around me and its effects upon me; like for instance my feet. At the time my feet were properly under my desk and out of my direct sight but not out of my mind. Directly, I noticed that my right shoe felt a little loose. "Odd" I thought, "the darn thing must have come undone." While I pondered upon how exactly a lace could undo what was done I became distinctly aware that my left shoe felt loose like unto the right shoe. (In fact upon later examination I would come to find that the lace upon my left shoe had also undone itself from what I that morning had thought was an otherwise unloosenable knot.) I hesitated. What were the possibilities that both shoe laces could undo at the exact same time? "Omens and Wonders!" I pronounced. Not daring to fully realize this event I tried to busy myself once more with work, but like I said previously, the magnitude of my work was not sufficient enough to distract my mind from these life thoughts. I thought once more upon shoes. I had to see for myself. I looked. Aghast I was at the seen below. Both pair of laces lay prostrate upon my plastic chair mat, powerless to hold my shoes to my feet. I am sure that not many a reader will accuse me of truckle behavior when I say that I let out a small yelp at such a dark omen as this. My mind reared and all thought except those untied shoes below possessed me. I thought upon what previous actions of mine had led to my awful state. I rushed for answers. Something for a bit of direction. "Perhaps a 15% percent tip is longer adequate to meet the financial needs of my various waiters" I whispered. I was surmising; which I might tell you is a dangerous thing to do when presented with this situation. There was scanty evidence to support such a theory, but no the less and in a shilly-shally manner I made up my mind to tip 16% from that day henceforth.

I'm not sure if the conclusion I rushed to that day was the right one or not, and perhaps perchance this story has not seen its end, but ever since that fateful day I have nary tipped under 16% and always gave a warm heartfelt smile to my waiter (with plenty of direct eye contact I will add) and my laces have stayed properly tied as they ought to.