The Planet of Naissance, where, before The Great Flame and The Deep Cold, the Vertige once lived.

This story started with the picture below. I have been fooling around with Photoshop for years now I had decided I wanted to make a planet. That got me to thinking what I would call this planet. And why did it look so dead. And who once lived there. The following story is taken from a history book found on the planet Melmac...

"Far from you, there is the galaxy Oubliés where the planet Naissance floats, though it is now just called Douleurs. Though this planet has long since been cold and silent, it once was bright and full of life. Home to a wonderful and excellent people that called themselves the Vertige. For thousands of years they lived peacefully on their planet and in harmony with their neighboring intersolar planetary brothers of the Sœurs Cinq. But in the year 2189 GCT (galactic common time), the ruthless and hardhearted peoples of Rastochka attacked. While the Vertige had preserved their planet and tended it well, the Rastochka took what they wanted and gave no thought for the future. The First Intersolar War lasted only 6 months and was fought mostly in the outer realms between solar systems. The Second and Third Intersolar wars grew more wide spread and lasted 6 and 3 respectively. The first planetary battles were fought during the Third war wherein the Rastochka sought complete control of Naissance but ultimately with the help of mercenaries from Leerlauf, they were driven back home to Pochva. Leerlauf, Tochi, and Tiroddigonedd, being smaller and much more peaceful planets, kept mostly out of the battles except for the last half of the Third war; they felt that planetary battles violated the Sisters Contract and feared that Rastochka would soon turn their sights on them if Nassiance fell. Heavy sanctions and governmental oversight of Pochva followed the end of the Third War. This however only came as an embarrassment to the Rastochka and enraged them. The Plan was soon devised by the inhabitants of Pochva and they no longer sought ownership and domineerance of Naissance; they wanted blood and annihilation. For the next 15 years scientists were stolen from all over the galaxy and forced to devise the ultimate weapon. Not one that would attack the planet itself but the very source of its energy and life; its star...

In the year 3065 they attacked and the Fourth Interstellar War began and ended with only 9 months in between. The Rastochkans hit Naissance hard and fast and deployed several StarCrunchers® on the planet of Naissance.

Once they were deployed Naissance and the Vertige didn't stand a chance; their planet would soon be enveloped and burnt to a crisp as their sun was forced to go supernova on them. All hopes for fighting off Pochva were gone and an immediate evacuation of Naissance began.

Hundreds of exodus ships tried to launch but tragically few survived the copious amounts of radiation put off from the supernova. With Pochva possessing such a weapon, Leerlauf, Tochi, and Tiroddigonedd were too afraid to take these refugees in and the few that remained from the race of the Vertige were forced to wandering the galaxy in search of a new home, stuffed into three exodus ships, The Espérer, The Souvenir, and The Revanche.

After 22 years stuck, wandering, in space, the Vertige finally found a new home. With a bit of luck, a dash of perseverance, and lot of headstrongness they stumbled across an uninhabited planet which they named Calebila.

Calebila, vast in resource and beautiful in its extent, will be the home of the Vertige for thousand of years to come. And perhaps the Rastochkans should have something to fear..."

Attack animal!

On a date the other night, I relayed a dream to my date that I had the day before. In this dream I dreamt a lion came through my bedroom door and attacked me. But! I fought back. In fact, though I was mortally wounded I managed to kill the lion. With my bare hands I did. Later, I proposed a question to a group of friends which was, "Do you think that I could go toe to toe with lion?" The answer was unequivocally no. Now I believe, however, I could, even after watching The Ghost and The Darkness. It's all that mane. It just gives too much to grab onto for leverage.

So! That got me to thinking, "Zak, given your ability to go manhandle a lion, what other animals could you beat up?" Well here you go.

Grizzly Bear
Ursus arctos horribilis
Weight: 290–440 lb
Signature Move: Paw swipe
Countermove: The grizzly-bear-headlock

A grizzly bear, though fond of picking berries and salmon catching, is hard to front on and they don't back down easily. When confronted with an opponent they employ a vigilant paw swipe mingled with harsh aggregation. Though they often respond to humor, the most effective move is the grizzly-bear-headlock. Patience is always required when confronting the grizz.

Hippopotamus
Hippopotamus amphibius
Weight: 1.5 to 3 tonnes
Signature Move: Basic Chomp
Countermove: The hippo-toss

The hippo, as it's called by those who fear it the most, is the number one killer in Africa though some have been known to keep them as pets. Territorial, grumpy, and notoriously hungry by nature, the hippo will defend their ground by tooth and belly, viciously using the classic but basic chomp for attacks. Your best bet for defeating this large fellow is disengaging their mouth from the fight and

utilizing the hippo-toss.

Moose
Alces Alces
Weight: 400-800 lb
Signature Move: Ultimate-antler-punch (aka the whop!)
Countermove: The bum-bump

The moose, or eurasian elk, is known most for having a a killer goatee, a very temperamental attitude, and a sovereign demeanor. Moose, being easily annoyed and easily provoked to a fight, find their greatest weakness in those traits. They're not thinkers and often only focus on what their eyes can see. As such, to avoid the noid (their antlers), one merely has to approach stealthily from behind and make use of the bum-bump. This move, though simple in concept, requires precision and focus and will allow for a succession of wrangling moves to final domineer...ence.

Woolly Mammoth
Mammuthus Primigenius
Weight: Tonnes indeed
Signature Move: Tusk melee 
Countermove: The trunk-punch

The woolly mammoth, the bane of northernly-time-travels abroad, with their famous lush coat and infamous curved tusks have struck fear and delight into the heart of many a Grag and Og. Thought to be indelible daydreams and soft-eyed, many foes have met their end twinkle-toeing about with flash and pomp. Their 15 foot tusks necessitate close combat, and what is needed most when confronting the woolly is a long series of strong stout punches. Firm footing and a strong core will do more than pageantry.

And that's about it I guess.

Weekday Veg

So I decided I wanted to get this thing going again. It's been awhile and in fact I have completely forgot about it to be honest. (I'm sorry bloggy.) And maybe I will take it more serious this time. Well as serious as a blog can be...which I guess can be pretty serious.

Monday, I am going to be starting a Weekday Vegetarian diet. To be specific, I am going to be doing a lacto-vegetarian diet Monday through Friday and a regular carnivore diet Saturday and Sunday. I will be trying for a month to start, and then see how we feel after that.

Why? Good question.

One: I love animals. I always have. They are cute and cuddly.  Even this guy.

And I don't believe that the industrialization of animals (cliche?) is how it should be. Even though they may have smaller brains than we do and may feel less in the way of complex emotions (which I don't know if that is is true or not), it doesn't really matter to me. It just seems cruel. I don't like it and I never have

Two: My health. Unfortunately you can find statistics and studies to support about anything you want or don't want to do.

But the link between certain diseases and health problems and the over consumption of meat is veritable verity.

Three: It's something to do.

Axes to battle with...

Battle Axes.

I think about them sometimes. Oddly, during church most of the time. Let me clarify. Sometimes my mind will start to wander and wonder, and I imagine myself running at a full sprint with a battle axe over my head and then I just let it fly. Never at anything in particular, just slingin' battle axes. Try it sometimes.

I kind of wish that one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles carried a battle axe. Probably Raphael. His sais I always thought were kind of useless.

Battle Axes.

So get this...

So get this:

I was born with one less tooth than most people.
I have hammer toes and they really seem to creep people out.
I love circus peanuts which also seems to creep people out.
I hate New Jersey.

That's about it.

I love you all!!!

I love you all! Yes, even you! I just wanted to say that. It's been awhile since I blogged so I thought I'd drop you a line. Keep it real. New post a comin' a soon.